Batakliev's Bloc

Good Sunday. Let’s see how easy it is to buy a ticket for an event on your phone in 2021, from the comfort of your bed where you are enjoying a well-deserved lie-in. It’s 9:50 on a Sunday morning and I’m still in bed - rather unusual as for once, I’m not in my excitable child mode, fearing that I’m missing out if not constantly active. Facebook flashes an ad for “An Evening with Nigella Lawson” at the Southbank Centre. Now that’s a lady whom I’d love to spend an evening with. Well-spoken, lushly feminine, maker of rich, life-affirming food (which is not two pieces of extra vegan beetroot in the middle of a massive plate). So, let’s go. The Southbank Centre website looks well designed and is likely to have Apple Pay - I’m not prepared to leave my bed and look for my plastic card and its “long number”. We begin with seat selection. I know that these interfaces were created for desktop (like, 10 years ago) but the Southbank is making it extra difficult. I literally need to be Ilko Needleh

Words of fiction   Upon rumours that selling coffee may be banned and nothing but grocery shops will remain open for the foreseeable future, I venture out of the house. I put on my warmest hooded jacket and conceal two thirds of my face’s real estate with a covering. A hesitant step over the threshold. It drizzles and it chills. It’s mid January in Northern Europe (which Britain is now remotely associated with) and the winter is finally kicking in.  Goldfrapp’s “Utopia” has been chosen to accompany me on my perilous journey to my local cafe slash bakery. Escapist pop for an escape from home. The chainsaw of a bass dictates the tempo of my steps. The police can fine me if I trespass the five mile radius I’m allowed to play within. The State only allows for “essential” shops to stay open. The State will be tightening the restrictions in the days to come. Memories of growing up in communism cloud my head. Queuing up for oranges and bananas stocked once a winter in each town. Being afraid