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Showing posts from December, 2010

Supermarket rush-hour

The supermarket is a dangerous place. Please, drive your trolleys carefully and avoid congested spots for the sake of your life and the lives of others. Now, traffic lights are GO, turn left, then slam straight to toiletries . CAUTION: baby onions and Chardonnay from Chile are cutting through from the left. Two blond braided baby girls, screaming their guts out, on your right, are advancing slowly but surely. One of them starts throwing up, here we go, congestion causes indigestion. This is a proper traffic jam and you've only accommodated one courgette and a gallon of low-fat milk in your vehicle. The driving rules are yet to be defined. As a high-speed grandma dashes right between your legs, an obese banana lands on your back and the contents of a top-shelf box of chocolates scatter artfully across the floor. Just as the walls start closing in on you, there's Belinda Carlisle's innocently pre-Shakirean voice crooning out "Heaven is a place on Earth". Well, y